Dating & Mating: A Gathered Man's Guide to Dressing on a First Date

Happy Monday! Today I am hoping that life imitates art because I have had several recent experiences of men showing up to first dates either looking or behaving in an ungathered fashion. Despite their visual offenses, these men had no malicious intent. But nonetheless, they were poorly dressed for the first date. If you're a loyal reader, you know I wrote a post for women on the same subject matter: How to dress on a First Date. Now, the messages men are sending on first dates are totally different than women, but we'll get into all of that in a bit...

Trust us when we say that 'all the single ladies' would prefer if single men use this guide for dressing on a first date. If there's one thing the staff at The Gathered Lady know, it's fashion and what gathered women like. And to our lovely fashionistas reading this, feel free to forward and share the link to every man you know! 

Our top voted look by our readers: Business Professional's Event/Mixer/Happy Hour 

She's wearing any of these!

If you're a professional single in your late 20's, 30's or 40's you may likely have dates after work. This look still holds sex appeal, and can shift from office to happy hour/mixer with the addition of a crisp blazer and your debonair cologne. These dates are mid-range price point for professionals who can afford a round or two of cocktails and/or appetizers or dinner for a cost at or above $80.

Here are some general rules to follow:

1. Don't dress like a slob: That statement seems so obvious, but it's the number one complaint women have. Slobsville doesn't only mean dressing like the local homeless guy. It's also when your look has an apparent lack of effort. It's found in the details.  Women report the following issues as slobville territory:

• wearing hats/baseball/basketball hats (without explicitly attending a sports event)
• tennis shoes (without playing a sport/attending a sporting event/active activity)
• sleeveless shirts and wife-beaters
• graphic T's with offensive and silly slogans
• baggy pants
• poor hygiene
• gym clothes
• flip flops

2. Don't dress too trendy: As a man you want to dress so that you don't lose points. When gathered women dress for a date, we already know you are sexually interested in us and we aim to make you more attracted to us while balancing your level of respect. Women work on a deduction system when judging men -- we start off with a certain value/attraction and then from there deduct value/attraction based on things we observe. We remain interested if you dress appropriately and our attraction is increased by your positive behaviors on the date. However, if you fail to dress well, the chemistry begins to rapidly die even before you display any behaviors. We're talking major setback here, guys. Your best bet is to avoid setting off any triggers for disinterest. Many fads can set off a woman's alarms.

• extra tight skinny jeans- gaydar alarm goes off
• very baggy pants- ghetto alarm
• army camouflage- crazy or trashy alarm
• muscle shirts- jerk/douche/meathead alarm
• sports jerseys- loser/frat boy alarm
• too much jewelry- cheesy/player alarm

 3. Don't forget the essentials:

You can score bonus points and stay in her good graces if you wear the following items provided they are occasion-appropriate for your particular date:

• A watch- Women love watches. It shows that you probably have to be on time for something. And possibly have a job in which you try to be responsible and timely for.
• Casual and dress shoes: It doesn't bode well when grown men only own tennis shoes.
• A casual jacket or blazer: It adds sophistication to almost any outfit and is better than your college sweatshirt.
• Money: Cash is sexy. Don't ever go on a date without your plastic and at least $50 in cash. Yes, $50. It's 2013 and this site is for gathered women. So that price point is reasonable for a good time with a sophisticated top-quality woman.
• Cologne: Women adore men who smell good. You can earn MAJOR sex appeal points here.
• A CLEAN car & car keys: I don't care if you borrowed a set of keys for the evening. It looks better than bus tokens. And if we are riding in your car- stop at the car wash and invest 50 cents in a quick carpet vacuum.

Now that the basic rules are covered. Bring your 'A game' with your gentlemanly behavior, see The Gathered Man's Guide to a First Date and choose your outfit.

Date Option 1: Lunch date, Movie date, Casual Date (Pool, Bowling, Miniature Golf)

She's wearing this! This look is perfect for men dating in their early 20's. These dates are generally cost conscious with price points less than $60. You can opt for dark denim jeans, a button down shirt with short sleeves and casual scent for easy going fun.

Date Option 2: Live music concert, Art walk or Show

She's wearing this!If you picked this type of date, you've already got a strong "Cool" factor going. Be sure to take that edge and rock a little bit of masculine man jewelry like a necklace or a skull and bones money clip. This look balances casual comfort with effort and style just like her edgy and sexy outfit. This date, much like the clothes offer a range in terms of price point ($60-$150).

Date option 3: Park Picnic, Flea Market, Beach, Outdoor Activity

She's wearing this!Here is your opportunity to have a carefree and casual date while still showing your excellent taste and sophistication. A picnic, the beach, or flea market is the ideal time to wear shorts and use that axe or old spice you have lying around. This date's price point is very low (less than $40) and your clothes can reflect the simplicity of the date without setting off the cheapskate alarm (one of the most deadly warning signs to a gathered woman). If you have a messenger bag, this is a great time to pull it out and fill it with picnic snacks, a blanket, or your flea market finds.

Date Option 4: Cocktail event, Fancy Dinner date, Theatre

She's wearing this!5000+ bonus points for you if this your first date. You are certainly taking a very gathered woman out and you're aiming to impress her. This outfit will achieve that. You'll look quite daper with cufflinks and a boss ring. And don't forget the hair pomade to show your superior grooming skills. This date is for a man with comfortable means at a price point of at least $100 and upwards.

 Now that you've got your handy list of options and price ranges, the rest is up to you. Don't forget the gathered man behavior which is the most essential part of the date. Compliment your date, be chivalrous, respectful, and your charming self! Now go get 'em tiger! And ladies- share, share, share this article!

Do you have a first date that doesn't fit into these categories? Need help? Write us at thegatheredlady@gmail.com and we'll help you figure out great styling for a first date. Do you have pictures of your first date outfit that rocks? Email or tag us on facebook, twitter, or instagram @Thegatheredlady and if we like it, we'll share it!