Dating & Mating: A Gathered Man's Guide to Dressing on a First Date

Happy Monday! Today I am hoping that life imitates art because I have had several recent experiences of men showing up to first dates either looking or behaving in an ungathered fashion. Despite their visual offenses, these men had no malicious intent. But nonetheless, they were poorly dressed for the first date. If you're a loyal reader, you know I wrote a post for women on the same subject matter: How to dress on a First Date. Now, the messages men are sending on first dates are totally different than women, but we'll get into all of that in a bit...

Trust us when we say that 'all the single ladies' would prefer if single men use this guide for dressing on a first date. If there's one thing the staff at The Gathered Lady know, it's fashion and what gathered women like. And to our lovely fashionistas reading this, feel free to forward and share the link to every man you know! 

Our top voted look by our readers: Business Professional's Event/Mixer/Happy Hour 

She's wearing any of these!

If you're a professional single in your late 20's, 30's or 40's you may likely have dates after work. This look still holds sex appeal, and can shift from office to happy hour/mixer with the addition of a crisp blazer and your debonair cologne. These dates are mid-range price point for professionals who can afford a round or two of cocktails and/or appetizers or dinner for a cost at or above $80.

Here are some general rules to follow:

1. Don't dress like a slob: That statement seems so obvious, but it's the number one complaint women have. Slobsville doesn't only mean dressing like the local homeless guy. It's also when your look has an apparent lack of effort. It's found in the details.  Women report the following issues as slobville territory:

• wearing hats/baseball/basketball hats (without explicitly attending a sports event)
• tennis shoes (without playing a sport/attending a sporting event/active activity)
• sleeveless shirts and wife-beaters
• graphic T's with offensive and silly slogans
• baggy pants
• poor hygiene
• gym clothes
• flip flops

2. Don't dress too trendy: As a man you want to dress so that you don't lose points. When gathered women dress for a date, we already know you are sexually interested in us and we aim to make you more attracted to us while balancing your level of respect. Women work on a deduction system when judging men -- we start off with a certain value/attraction and then from there deduct value/attraction based on things we observe. We remain interested if you dress appropriately and our attraction is increased by your positive behaviors on the date. However, if you fail to dress well, the chemistry begins to rapidly die even before you display any behaviors. We're talking major setback here, guys. Your best bet is to avoid setting off any triggers for disinterest. Many fads can set off a woman's alarms.

• extra tight skinny jeans- gaydar alarm goes off
• very baggy pants- ghetto alarm
• army camouflage- crazy or trashy alarm
• muscle shirts- jerk/douche/meathead alarm
• sports jerseys- loser/frat boy alarm
• too much jewelry- cheesy/player alarm

 3. Don't forget the essentials:

You can score bonus points and stay in her good graces if you wear the following items provided they are occasion-appropriate for your particular date:

• A watch- Women love watches. It shows that you probably have to be on time for something. And possibly have a job in which you try to be responsible and timely for.
• Casual and dress shoes: It doesn't bode well when grown men only own tennis shoes.
• A casual jacket or blazer: It adds sophistication to almost any outfit and is better than your college sweatshirt.
• Money: Cash is sexy. Don't ever go on a date without your plastic and at least $50 in cash. Yes, $50. It's 2013 and this site is for gathered women. So that price point is reasonable for a good time with a sophisticated top-quality woman.
• Cologne: Women adore men who smell good. You can earn MAJOR sex appeal points here.
• A CLEAN car & car keys: I don't care if you borrowed a set of keys for the evening. It looks better than bus tokens. And if we are riding in your car- stop at the car wash and invest 50 cents in a quick carpet vacuum.

Now that the basic rules are covered. Bring your 'A game' with your gentlemanly behavior, see The Gathered Man's Guide to a First Date and choose your outfit.

Date Option 1: Lunch date, Movie date, Casual Date (Pool, Bowling, Miniature Golf)

She's wearing this! This look is perfect for men dating in their early 20's. These dates are generally cost conscious with price points less than $60. You can opt for dark denim jeans, a button down shirt with short sleeves and casual scent for easy going fun.

Date Option 2: Live music concert, Art walk or Show

She's wearing this!If you picked this type of date, you've already got a strong "Cool" factor going. Be sure to take that edge and rock a little bit of masculine man jewelry like a necklace or a skull and bones money clip. This look balances casual comfort with effort and style just like her edgy and sexy outfit. This date, much like the clothes offer a range in terms of price point ($60-$150).

Date option 3: Park Picnic, Flea Market, Beach, Outdoor Activity

She's wearing this!Here is your opportunity to have a carefree and casual date while still showing your excellent taste and sophistication. A picnic, the beach, or flea market is the ideal time to wear shorts and use that axe or old spice you have lying around. This date's price point is very low (less than $40) and your clothes can reflect the simplicity of the date without setting off the cheapskate alarm (one of the most deadly warning signs to a gathered woman). If you have a messenger bag, this is a great time to pull it out and fill it with picnic snacks, a blanket, or your flea market finds.

Date Option 4: Cocktail event, Fancy Dinner date, Theatre

She's wearing this!5000+ bonus points for you if this your first date. You are certainly taking a very gathered woman out and you're aiming to impress her. This outfit will achieve that. You'll look quite daper with cufflinks and a boss ring. And don't forget the hair pomade to show your superior grooming skills. This date is for a man with comfortable means at a price point of at least $100 and upwards.

 Now that you've got your handy list of options and price ranges, the rest is up to you. Don't forget the gathered man behavior which is the most essential part of the date. Compliment your date, be chivalrous, respectful, and your charming self! Now go get 'em tiger! And ladies- share, share, share this article!

Do you have a first date that doesn't fit into these categories? Need help? Write us at thegatheredlady@gmail.com and we'll help you figure out great styling for a first date. Do you have pictures of your first date outfit that rocks? Email or tag us on facebook, twitter, or instagram @Thegatheredlady and if we like it, we'll share it!

13 Heavenly Scents for Summer

Happy Friday fashionistas! Back in the swing of things after the holiday weekend?

Well I'm not. I can still smell the barbeque smoke from the 4th of July ya'll. I find this unacceptable. So I'm looking for a new summer scent to bring me through the rest of the summer months and the swampy Nawlins heat, where things finally cool down in... December. You can see this is necessary to my life. Hence, I have researched and come up with a fab cheat sheet for the top heavenly scents to sweep me away from the hot concrete jungle. Pull it up on your phone the next time you're ready to test some scents. I do hope these inspire! 

1. Prada Candy L'eau (70$) - Strong notes of caramel, citrus, and sweet pea. This is a lighter iteration of an earlier fave fragrance, Prada Candy Eau de Parfume. I can't wait to try it! To wet your appetite, check out this short film directed by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola specifically for the fragrance. Ooo, tres sophistique!

2. Valentino Valentina Assoluto (120$) - Notes of peach, orange blossom, patchouli, and sandalwood. Just based on the bottle, I am intrigued, despite the fact that I shy away from heavy scents like pachouli, especially for summer. 

3. Bond No. 9 Central Park South (200$) - Named after the famous tree-lined Manhattan street and with the price tag to match (sheesh), this perfume offers notes of grapefruit flower, black currant buds and green ivy leaves. But can it substitute for a visit to the Big Apple? Not hardly. 

4. Jo Malone Limited Edition Plum Blossom Cologne (120$) - Yellow plum, honey, sandalwood, and white musk bring visions of dappled sunlight and cool breezes. Perfect for the hammock in the garden with an Arnold Palmer if you ask me. I must also wear espadrilles while rocking this scent. Don't ask me why. 

5. Guess Girl (70$) - Girl power! I hate to hate sweet, super-girly scents, especially for summer. The natural joy of being a woman manifests itself in me as a youthful aura, and this scent seems appropriate for those maxi dress days when I am once again a teeny bopper. Notes of melon, sandalwood, and vanilla may make take the lead of the sensual or the slick scents in the end. Only the sniff test will tell. 

6. H2O+ Blue (45$) - Cool as poolside, this perfume smells of peony, rosewood, nectarine, and bergamot. I love the peony and nectarine notes in this one in theory, but only smelling the scent will let me know if this is what I should be wearing to all those pool parties I'll be attending this summer. 

7. Vera Wang Lovestruck Floral Rush (78$) - I can't think of Vera Wang without thinking of weddings, and her perfume is no exception. Notes of apricot blossoms, champagne, white freesia, cashmere woods, sheer musk, and white amber. I think of brides, or a bridesmaids, or wedding attendees. Even without any weddings to attend I would spritz away. 

8. Jimmy Choo Flash (98$) - By all accounts, this perfume is aptly named. Pink pepper, tangerine, strawberry, tuberose, jasmine, and white lily give this perfume a slick edge like the glittarati luxe hotel jetsetter that I am in my dreams. This makes me think of ankle bracelets made of precious stones. 

9. Ralph Lauren Romance Summer Blossom (75$) -  Fruity and floral blend in classic RL style with notes of mandarin, guava, jasmine, coconut, and vanilla. I picture myself rocking this one for formal night on a cruise with a fling! (Don't judge my fantasies.)

10. Boucheron Jaipur Bracelet (105$) - The name alone sold me on testing this fragrance. I loved my visit to Jaipur in India, and smell was one of my most stimulated senses while I visited. Described as "an exotic blend of fresh violet leaves, basil and lemon scent of verbena behind a mysterious veil of silky marigold, hyacinth and cypress", I can't wait to sniff. I envision my own hands, brown with henna tattoos, clinking with bangles, scented with this scent... and I am riding an elephant. (Again!)

11. Oscar de la Renta Something Blue (85$) - Sticking with the effortless luxe Oscar de la Renta signature, this scent pulls in lily of the valley, mandarin, and white musk. I must try this one because I've shared a mythical connection with Oscar ever since I found an original clutch purse of his at a salvage store in Mississippi for 5$. He wants me to find him. He waits. 

12. Lanvin 'Me' (100$) - What's summer without blueberries? This perfume incorporates that as its strongest note. But before you start turning up your nose at smelling like a berry patch and attracting all the honeybees for miles (like I did), know that the scent is rumored to be tempered with mandarin, licorice, tuberose, and sandalwood. I can't wait to try and see for myself. 

13. Vince Camuto Fiori (100$) - Although fiori is Italian for "flowers", this is reportedly not a very floral perfume. In fact, it's strongest note is pink grapefruit, followed by powdery iris root, white nectarine, and then sweet freesia. Surprise, surprise. I love perfumes like this, that take the punch out of the summer floral bouquet and give people like me a break from overdosing on the flonase. Thanks Vince! 

Use this cheat sheet, try out these scents and share your opinions by email, facebook or below. We can't wait to hear from you! 

How to Take Your Makeup from Day to Night

By messybessyhairart from Flickr

We've all found ourselves with less time than we'd like to get ready for a fun night out. And while showing up fashionably late may be an option, it has its limits. Fortunately, if you don't have time to scrub your face clean and start from scratch, you don't have to. Save some time with these tips on how to glam up your day look fast.

1. Freshen up your skin. Blotting papers are your best friend. Use them to soak up excess oil in your T-zone and around your nose. If your eye shadow is creasing (time for a new primer!) you can wrap the paper around your index finger and smooth it over your crease to pick up the excess oil and clear out any clumped eye shadow. Blotting will remove some of your foundation, so spot cover any blemishes with a liquid foundation or a concealer that matches your skin tone. Don’t go for another full layer of foundation, unless you want to look like you applied it with a spatula.

By by its all about Lizzie... from Flickr2. Accentuate your eyes. The best way to glam up any look is with dramatic eye makeup. If you aren’t wearing eye shadow, start off with a primer. Otherwise, you can easily play up your existing look by deepening the colors you’re already wearing. Try wetting your brush to get a more dramatic color on your eyelid, and select a darker shade for your crease. Carefully fill in (and if necessary, lengthen) your eyebrows to create a finished look. Swipe on some liquid eyeliner and a fresh coat of mascara and don’t skip the eyelash curler.

3. Highlight your bone structure. This step is super easy. Refresh your blush, do a little contouring with your favorite bronzer, and sweep on some highlighter to make your face glow. Since you probably don’t rock anything besides blush during the day, you can act like you’re working from a completely fresh face.

4. Glam up your lips. A pop of color or a little shimmer will go a long way towards making you look ready to party. In fact, If you have time for nothing else, blot your nose, slap on your favorite shade of red and go.

5. Don’t forget the finishing powder. This is going to fight oil, extend the life of your newly refreshed makeup and generally make you look flawless. Brush lightly, grasshopper. The last thing you want is cake face.

By It's Holly on Flickr

How To Rock...the Neon Fashion Trend

Happy Monday! We hope you enjoyed the holiday weekend. If it was a bust, let us cheer you up with a big dose of fashion inspiration! If you read our hot summer trends for 2013 then you already know that neon is big this season. These spicy colors are an easy way to make bold statements with little effort. Several celebrities like Solange, Kim Kardashian, Kristin Stewart, and Zoe Kravitz have sported the neon trend. One of the easiest and more powerful ways to use neon is in the shoes. All fashionistas know that the shoe can make or break an outfit, so if you wear the right shoe you can set your style on fire. 

In addition to a neon shoe, accessories like purses and necklaces in neon are perfect for pops of color. See the following outfits we put together for style inspiration!

This outfit can be paired with several different styles of shoes to be dressed up or down!

Pairing multiple solid neon colors is sophisticated.

Changing from neon flats to neon heels is a easy way to shift from work to play.
Steal the scene and look like a rock star mixing leather and neon. Do you have pictures rocking the Neon trend in a stylish way? Share your pictures with us on at thegatheredlady@gmail.com or tag us @thegatheredlady on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and if we like it, we'll share it!

Happy 4th of July! Enjoy the long weekend...

Enjoy the long weekend fashionistas! We'll see you Monday :)